Are you and dh on the same page?

[Leah]

Just wondering what everyones experience is with ttc and their dh's? Was your dh ready or not ready when you are/where? How did you come to an agreement or decision?

I just ask this because my dh has been saying for a few months that he doesn't think I should take bcp anymore and we should just "let it happen" and he feels like that could mean sometime since it took so long the first time. He sort of thinks there is never and good time and wants to get the baby stage over with. Me on the other hand...I don't feel totally ready, partly, but not totally. I wanted Talon to be at least 18 to 24 months before starting so he would be closer to 3. I don't really want to get it over with and just want to enjoy each baby. On the other hand I am scared of waiting too long and agree that sometimes there is never a good time or what if I wait too long and that does make me less fertile, or what if dh just changes his mind all together....:confused:

ok...sorry this turned into more of a vent or something, but I want to know your experiences and any comments, advice, or just tell me to shut up. :p

[Jojo]

Funny cause we just had this convo last night.

I know DH is ready when he says it because he just doesn't agree with me to make me shut up. I am always ready :blush: Does that sound bad?? I had thought I wanted to spend some time with Matthew until he was at least 2 but the more we think about it it would just make more sense for us to have our kids closer in age.

I can go back to work when they are both in school and we can get all the sleeplessness/feeding things OVER WITH. Yeah that's how I look at it :blush: I want 2 or 3 kids (preferably 3) but DH really really wants to stop at 2.

Eh, I'm rambling. You have to do what is best for you. If you aren't ready than you aren't ready. :hug:

[Farah]

Leah, my DH was the SAME way. He brought up us having another about 2 weeks after Charlie turned one. I looked at him like "Say WHA????" :look: I wasn't ready and I initially told him September we'd start because Charlie would be 21 months or so. Then after thinking about the amount of time it took with getting Charlie and not wanting to have another winter baby I decided that I would just start in May/June beacuse that meant Charlie would be over 2 when the baby was born. I mentioned this to DH in April and he jumped all over it....literally. Men. :rolleyes:

We are now "trying", but I'm not stressing about it. We have sex when we want and if I'm O'ing I've decided we're not going to go out of our way to DTD. I don't want that pressure again. Also, right now....I'm not going to be too upset if I don't get pregnant for another few months. Now by the time it gets to Sept/Oct/Nov....I may be more upset because I realize my window of not having a baby near Charlie's birthday will narrow sooner. Right now it's just about enjoying each other and Charlie and whatever happens happens.

I say if you want the Talon and his sibling to have at least 2 years between each other go for it when that timing is right. Just expect to get pregnant right away, but realize it may not happen. Does that make sense?

:support:

[Cindy]

Eric was ready to TTC when we got married. I wanted to wait and we waited almost 5 years.

This time we're on the same page. It's just not the right time for either of us. With deployment coming and having Conner. We just want to enjoy our time with him and I don't want to risk having a baby without him.

[AshleyMommyto2]

Oh Leah... Yeah I have the same feelings too. It is hard.. That why we aren't trying but not preventing. I look a eli and think how can I love another... I love him soo much and enjoy our Mommy and Eli time soo much... Know you aren't in this boat alone!

[Blue Eyes 409]

Well not really Dh is wanting to wait to start TTC but he does not want to use anything to prevent either. He really wants to try for another but he is wanting to wait a while longer. I am 37 and with it taking us 15 months of TTC to get Paige I really think we need to start trying full force. We have done nothing to prevent since Paige was born but we usually do not DTD very often and not around O time till a few months ago.