Tantrums

[Meshell]

Ok, I know I'm never on anymore, but I hope I can still pop in and ask for advice. :blush:


William has started throwing tantrums! It's awful. He flings himself backwards, cries and kicks if you try to pick him up. We were at playgroup the other day and he got into my diaper bag and took out a pack of gum. When I took it away from him and put it back in my bag he started throwing a fit. I picked him up and put him on my lap. He stopped crying and got down but then started crying again, went into the front room and was standing up against the wall banging on it. We were getting ready to leave anyways so we did, promptly! :hehe: I just don't know what to do. Some people say ignore them, my mom tried to tell me to throw a glass of whatever in his face :hmmm: (I don't think so!).....I just don't know. What are you doing or what do you do?

[PinkPaisley]

wow a glass that might work but i'll never try it.

Well Dylan does this too we have a saying distract and redirect. It usually does work, when it doesn't we try to talk to him and if that doesn't work we ignore or get out if we are in public so he can calm down in private.

[Elaine]

I kinda like the glass of whatever idea... :hehe:

Tantrums are fun, aren't they? :rolleyes: We do the same thing as Brenda. Distract and redirect. If that doesn't work we try to talk to him and if that doesn't work we ignore him and eventually he calms down. If we can't ignore him (like if we're out in public) then we leave where ever we are briefly and try to calm him down.

[AddiesMomma]

Same here...distract and redirect. Ignoring (in our case) just makes it worse most of the time.

[NathanielsMomma]

With us, the best thing is to get him out of the situation, and try to talk to him. Usually with Nathaniel it's over stimulation from the grandparents, so if I take him where its just me and him and let him calm down, he's usually fine. Tantrums at home are ignored and when he realizes that he's not getting our attention he calms down and will crawl up in one of our laps and snuggle.

[dixielanddelight]

Be glad he just started. My drama queen in training started tantrums at like 6 months or less...All I have to do is open my car door and she sees the car seats and starts screaming and arching her back and fighting me...And don't even try to tell her no or take something from her. :hehe: She's so young so I just kind of laugh hers off...My 3 yr old on the other hand, I just ignore it. Attention is what they want or they want their way and if you give in to it, you'll just be showing them that tantrums work. :rolleyes: If you think it's bad now, wait until he's 3....

[PinkPaisley]

Be glad he just started. My drama queen in training started tantrums at like 6 months or less...All I have to do is open my car door and she sees the car seats and starts screaming and arching her back and fighting me...And don't even try to tell her no or take something from her. :hehe: She's so young so I just kind of laugh hers off...My 3 yr old on the other hand, I just ignore it. Attention is what they want or they want their way and if you give in to it, you'll just be showing them that tantrums work. :rolleyes: If you think it's bad now, wait until he's 3....

oh i hate the car seat thing, I have had to take the kids back into the store because i was so embarrassed fighting a 2 year old back into the car.

[emilade]

When its a normal one we also try to distract/redirect. If its one of those tantrums where she's hellbent on injuring herself (faceplanting, throwing herself into walls/furniture, etc.), I set her in a safe place (when we're home, that's the crib) and let her get it out of her system. Which happens pretty quickly usually, since she knows if she calms down she gets to go play again. I just stand there and she gets quiet, usually wants out but sometimes she wants to just play in there for a few minutes :rolleyes:

[Jojo]

oh my god! Throw a glass in his face :lol: Maybe some crushed ice!

I have no advice. I see this in my future worse than it already is. :support::support:

[Ashley]

I try to redirect first. When they're in full tantrum mode, I make it known that I do not approve. I say no, very firmly, or that's enough. Again, I try to redirect/distract. If this doesn't work, then they are free to have their tantrum (move to a safe place if necessary).

I always offer my kids support and love when they are done. For Tyler, I have always given him a huge hug and let him know that I love him, that it's okay to be upset, etc. I take tantrums as teachable moments- they need to know it's not okay. I know I may get flack for this, and I guess I'm mean, but it worked well with Tyler, and it's been effective (at least some of the time) so far with Lily. Of course, as the months progress with her I could be full of crap, but at least I had one well-behaved toddler :hehe:

[MomHenry918]

With Annie, I just stood there and stared at her. Not angrily, but just calm and collected. Once she saw that she wasn't getting any reaction out of me, she stopped. There were a few times where I would dip my fingers in a glass of water and just "flick" water in her face...that was early on when she's get to screaming so much that she'd almost stop breathing. Only had to do it 2-3 times.

Afterward, we'd have a hug and talk about what had happened...that it was okay to be upset, but we had to use our "words" and do it in the appropriate way. She still has her moments, but now she's old enough to threaten her with time out (which she HATES). That squelches it pretty fast.

Good luck...I'm sure you'll find something that works for you. And Ashley, you are the Mama SUPREME!! I STILL have never seen a toddler as well-behaved as Tyler!! :))

[Meshell]

Thanks for the advice ladies. I tried redirecting earlier and it did work. Sometimes it was and sometimes it wasn't, so I will keep trying, or ignore him. :hehe: He is just so stubborn! Anytime we take something away from him that he isn't supposed to have or if he doesn't get what he wants he throws a big fit. It's such a fake cry too and sometimes he starts coughing and gagging. It's pretty annoying. :rolleyes: This phase only lasts a week, right?!

[AddiesMomma]

Ha! Yeah...a week. ;)

I wish you luck with that. Addie's tantrums just got worse over time. :(

[NathanielsMomma]

I'm scared to post this bc I know I am going to jinx myself.

Nathaniel's tantrums have calmed down here lately!! He's doing better at letting me know what he wants, and if it's something that he needs or can have, he gets it. If it's something that's not good, I try to offer him something else, and this usually makes him happy enough to either set it down and move on, or do whatever with it.

[AddiesMomma]

See, that's the thing. Addie lets me know what she wants, that's that usually the cause of her tantrums. It's usually that it's something she shouldn't have or shouldn't be doing and I'm keeping her from doing it and that's what causes the tantrum.

I'm hoping when she starts talking more it'll help too.

[Elaine]

I try to redirect first. When they're in full tantrum mode, I make it known that I do not approve. I say no, very firmly, or that's enough. Again, I try to redirect/distract. If this doesn't work, then they are free to have their tantrum (move to a safe place if necessary).

I always offer my kids support and love when they are done. For Tyler, I have always given him a huge hug and let him know that I love him, that it's okay to be upset, etc. I take tantrums as teachable moments- they need to know it's not okay. I know I may get flack for this, and I guess I'm mean, but it worked well with Tyler, and it's been effective (at least some of the time) so far with Lily. Of course, as the months progress with her I could be full of crap, but at least I had one well-behaved toddler :hehe:
When it's just Ben and I we have a little snuggle session after the fit and talk about it. I know it's frustration that's causing the tantrums (he's really a good kid) and he doesn't know how to handle it so there's no point in me getting mad.

When my DH is around it's total manipulation because he knows Daddy will cave in and give him what he wants. He has far more tantrums with his dad than he does with me. I guess he just knows he won't (and doesn't) get away with it with me.

[Katie]

DS never once threw a tantrum. But DD has already started throwing them. She'll scream and arch her back and growl at us. The bad thing is that I find it amusing. Typically I'll try to redirect her, and if that doesn't work I ignore her. She'll usually forget about whatever started in within a few minutes.

My mom threw water in my face. She said I never threw a fit again. I can't see me doing that to my kiddos though.

[Caitlin]

I have no advice seeing as Aiden threw a tantrum the other night that led to VOMITING everywhere. :rolleyes: He seriously forced himself to throw up because he didn't want to sit at the table for dinner.


Let me know what works!!:hehe:

[Salvigirl]

Well, its funny you just posted this because it was about a month ago when Gabriel started with very similar tantrums. Instead of a wall, he gets down on his hands and knees and bangs his head into the floor. If he does this at home, I will ignore him and walk out of the room. Most of the time he eventually realizes that he is getting no response and will come out of it pretty quickly. Other times he will get up and go over to one of his toys and throw it full force at the TV or the wall and that is when I come in....say nothing, put him in his time out spot and he will usually scream there and get down and we will go through about 4 or 5 times of putting him back up and then he will finally sit there and calm down. After he has had a minute or two of calmness I will tell him he can get up and all is well (for a while anyway).

I have never had him do this in public yet, but he has been "almost there". If he screams in the shopping cart because he wants to get out I will strap him in and he will scream...I don't care what anyone thinks. It doesn't usually last long because there is always something else in a store that catches his eyes.

As far as the glass of water goes...I have heard something similar. My friend said she would spray her son with a spray bottle while she was holding him and she said it was amazing how fast he "snapped out of it" and laughed. I wouldn't do this for one reason...my son would think its funny and would WANT me to do it! :lol: I don't need him associating temper tantrums with something he would like....:hehe:

I wouldn't use a glass of water because I wouldn't want to clean it up or change his clothes....now, if it was outside on a hot day and he had me mad enough....who knows!

[bella_bella]

haha I was just going to start a post similar to this. Must be the Williams week!

I’m going to start my own post…so I don’t hijack yours. We’re going through something similar, but basically I’m at a loss right now. I’m hoping that since today was a bit better that he’s starting to realize that he won’t always get his way. But I don’t know that I can deal with this for a year. I’m not exactly the calmest person under pressure…and I never knew what kind of pressure a 15 month old could cause! :hehe:

I hope you figure something out that works!!!