What do you think?

[Cindy]

Okay ladies I need some opinions...


Not sure if you all know but I have a Step Daughter. Well she has decided she still wants to come down here this summer. Her Mom... Well her Mom's lame. My SD doesn't even live with her but yet she keeps taking us to get more money that she doesn't use for my SD. We know this 100% for sure. It's used on herself and her new baby she had this year.


Anywayssss. We can't afford to fly her down here, at least no on our own. We also can't take the 18 hours drive up there on a weekend because we have Conner to worry about and can't do that to him and Eric isn't going it himself because I said so.


So do you think it's right for her child support money to be spent on a ticket to fly her down here because that's what it's for.. HER. And when she is down here we'll be paying for her, not her Mom.

What do you think?

[Heather]

Absolutely! How is she even getting child support if the girl doesn't live with her? I wouldn't think Eric would have to pay it to her if she doesn't have custody. Or does she have custody and the girl just doesn't stay with her? Either way, I would think that yes, it would be absolutely fine to use the money for her ticket.

[Cindy]

She has custody of her but she lives with her Grandma. :eyeroll: It's a HUGE mess.

[Andrea]

I think it's totally fine to use the child support money on a ticket! It's for her.:yeah:

[Farah]

I say :yes: It's HER child support so it should be for HER. Do you guys have to go to court to get that approved?

[Jojo]

I agree. If it's for her then it's fine but you know how the law works so I would double check first!

[Ashley]

Logically, of course it should go towards her, and I completely feel for you. However, the way most child support laws work (and you should check for your state) is that the custodial parent has discretion in how it is used. Pretty crappy huh? Also, a lot of the time extracurricular activities are not included either, so something like airfare really wouldn't be included. Especially if this is time he is supposed to be spending with her, accomodating that would fall to him. Always check with what agreements are in place and your state laws of course, their specific agreements could be different, but child support is basically up to her on how it's spent.

Please don't kick me!!:hiding:

[Elaine]

It's ok Ashley, I was going to say much the same thing... :hiding:

My sister lives here in Ontario and her ex lives in BC (across the country). My sis has custody of their son but he spends summers, a few weeks at Christmas and March break with his dad in BC. He pays child support to my sister and he also pays for the plane tickets for my nephew to fly out and back for his visits.

It sucks that she's not spending the money on her daughter but it's kind of out of your control. Before you do anything I'd check the custody agreement and/or consult a lawyer. You don't want to get yourselves into hot water. :support:

[Cindy]

I get that..I won't be kicking anyone :p

I get that it's her choice, we weren't going to be *****y or anything about it towards her. She is coming down here on her own time this isn't like a visitation or anything. I don't even know if that makes any sense.

Do you think it's fair to ask her to pay for half at least? I know she is coming to visit us but I feel that if we had her, and she was going to visit her Mom for the summer I feel that it would be out responsibility to get her there. I dunno.

[Ashley]

Is there any reasoning with her? Could you explain that you just can't afford it, so could you split it? Then maybe it will be easier for her to agree?

I'm sorry you guys are stuck with this situation. Yuck :(

[Cindy]

Well we plan on calling her and figuring things out. She's a piece of work but I am hoping she'll be reasonable. I'd hate for my SD to not be able to come down here, it would probably break her heart but times are tough for us, as they are for many people. If it weren't so far I'd drive to get her but with Conner that's just out of the question.

[Ashley]

Ugh, I hope she's reasonable for you guys. Keep us posted! :support:

[Mama Sandy]

Sorry, I haven't read ahead but will explain how things would be if it were us. My stepson's mom is a total bat Sh!t crazy loon! BUT, we always try to make things 50/50. We pay the child support and also pay for other things (or half of other things) like school pictures, summer camps, etc. So, that being said, we would pay for the flight one way and one way only. If she paid for the flight for him to get to us we would pay for the flight back. I also would NOT allow Kevin to take him there himself if it's that far away. Fortunately and also unfortunately his ex lives WAY too close to me. She used to live two hours away and recently bought a house only 10 minutes away...totally removed my "buffer".

Anyway, sorry about my little rant there. My question is; is there any way she would pay for the flight to get her here and you can save up for her to fly back at the end of summer?

[Meshell]

I have no advice! :( I hope the situation works out for you and she gets to spend the summer with you guys.

[AshleyMommyto2]

I think Mom should pay half of the ticket. I hope when you talk to her you guys can get things worked out for the best! :pinkbluehug: